FRA Christmas special 2011

Greetings, in this blog update the adventures of Fletch and Roman are back with their Christmas special of 2011. I hope you enjoy it. The fifth chapter of Team X Paranormal Division is not up at Warehouse 17 but it will be back in the New Year. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

The adventures of Fletch and Roman Christmas Special 2011 

Narrator: Hello again, Christmas is almost here yet again… unfortunately so is the Fletch and Roman Christmas Special of 2011. If you make it through this strange festive story I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Roman: Greetings and welcome to a seasonal story full of things most Christmassy. It’s about elves, trees and snow…ehh… okay… I am improvising. Just be thankful it isn’t Fletches turn again. Isn’t that right Fletch?

Fletch: (Muffled response)Hmm?

Roman looks at Fletch chewing on a decoration of a gingerbread house covered with snow.

Roman: Spit that out!... It’s plastic!

Fletch removes gingerbread house

Fletch: Say what you will, the fact is it is still better than your cooking.

Roman: I’m ignoring you. Anyway this story is about an actor who is fed up with receiving non-speaking, extra roles as an elf in Christmas movies…despite being of average height.

Fletch: I wish you had a non-speaking role.

Roman: Sigh. It was close to Christmas when the actor by the name of Prince Goggleston decided to act upon this.

(Into story)

Prince Goggleston: When will people realize my acting talents so I receive a real role? I’ve had enough of the elf costumes. They don’t even fit me.

Top Hat walks on by and insults Prince Goggleston

Top Hat: Perhaps you could lean to act!

Prince Goggleston: Maybe…well…nah… it would be easier to ruin everyone’s Christmas instead. The question is how? …I guess I could create a crap show about a talking microwave and his clumsy friend who haven nonsensical adventures. That would never work everyone would love it, back to the drawing board.

After some plotting Prince Goggleston runs to the public post office.

Prince Goggleston: Strike! They are not paying us enough. I want a dental plan that insures more than one tooth.

Gobb and his rubber duck are the only ones in the office.

Gobb: That’s a brilliant idea…oh wait…I don’t work here anymore I was just sending letters. I guess I could protest anyway, it’s not like I have anything else planned… no one invites me to their parties.

After Prince Goggleston has done the same to the local shops.

Prince Goggleston: Excellent that will stop any last minute shopping…but my Christmas rampage doesn’t feel complete.

Prince Goggleston over hears Dr Mosan instructing Robot Santa and Dr Granso on how to dismantle a failed experiment.

Prince Goggleston: What is that?

Dr Mosan: A failed attempt at a homemade Christmas tree that doubles as a missile, apparently no government wants to destroy enemy targets in the spirit of Christmas. Not even the Russians would buy one. It is far superior than the missiles they have…and it has bells on it. Oh well, let’s go collect the tools necessary to dismantle it.

When the three walk away Prince Goggleston steals the Christmas tree missile.

Prince Goggleston: I am I going too far in blowing up the town centre…No, it has pretty bells on it. I would be mad not to steal it.

Health Guy inspects the Christmas tree missile during Prince Goggleston’s act of theft.

Health Guy: That looks like an unstable Christmas tree, at least the label claiming it as explosive would suggest it is and it is my job as health and safety guy to thoroughly inspect it.

Prince Goggleston: I’ll give you £40 to go away,

Health Guy: 55

Prince Googleston: 45

Health Guy: 30…final offer.

Prince Goggleston: Deal!

Health Guy: Excellent…No wait…I meant to say £50! Come back!

Prince Goggleston walks away and attempts to set up the missile, accidentally firing it into the air where it explodes.

Prince Goggleston: No! My revenge scheme, ruined by myself! How humiliating.

Dr Mosan walks up to him, hunting for the missile.

Dr Mosan: Oh… you set it off like a firework to spread the holiday cheer. For a minute there I thought you were going to destroy the town to teach society a lesson for only casting you as an elf in Christmas movies.

Prince Goggleston: What?! Oh yes…I wasn’t planning to ruin everyone’s Christmas. Those strikes are also nothing to do with me.

Dr Mosan: Those strikes didn’t last very long, there was only one single protestor named Gobb who was thrown out of the post office. Anyway since it’s nearly Christmas and I haven’t bought you a present I have decided to let you advertise my Christmas tree missiles dressed up in a Santa suit. It’s not as if your bad acting will take away from the sales anyway. Not if no one is buying them.

Prince Goggleston: Yes! I finally have a speaking role and as Santa too.

A bell from the Christmas tree rocket falls from the sky and knocks Prince Goggleston unconscious.

Dr Mosan: Huh…I guess it doesn’t need to be explosive to damage someone.

(Out of story)

Roman: Well that’s what happens when you improvise, a mad story about an actor and a Christmas tree missile. What did you think of…Fletch spit that out!

Fletch is nibbling on a plastic candy cane before pulling it out.

Fletch: Mmm…plastic!

Roman: If you that hungry you can eat a Christmas pudding.

Fletch: I’d sooner eat sprouts! Those weird little flatulence inducing vegetables.

Roman and Fletch: Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year!

Quote of the day

My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."

Fozziwig

The Muppet Christmas Carol