Full Dark, No Stars

Greetings, ‘Full Dark, No Stars’ is a set of stories written by famed horror author Stephen King and was initially released in 2010. The four stories are unconnected to each other but share the same theme of retribution which gives the book a sense of cohesiveness. While he has written many collections of short stories in prior years, this was King’s third compilation of four sizeable works contained within the one book after he published ‘Different Seasons’ in 1982 and ‘Four Past Midnight’ in 1990. The stories in ‘Full Dark, No Stars’ are ‘1922’, ‘Big Driver’, ‘Fair Extension’ and ‘A Good Marriage’. Some editions that had been published in 2011 also include the additional short story of ‘Under the Weather’ which is about a married advertiser who’s fragile mind prevents him for accepting the awful truth of his situation and his attempts to hide from reality.

The plot of ‘1922’, which is probably the most well-known of the aforementioned stories, starts with the character of Wilfred James writing out a confession to a gruesome crime he committed in that same year. Wilfred introduces himself as a farmer who lived with his wife, Arlette, and their son, Henry, on their farmstead in Nebraska. 80 acres of the land belong to Wilfred while another 100 acres was inherited by Arlette. The discrepancy in the amount of land becomes a source of contention between the two especially when Arlette, using her position as the inheritor of the larger swathe of land, leverages this fact in her attempts to leave rural Nebraska and live as a city dweller in Omaha. After failing to convince Wilfred to move out in accordance with her dream, Arlette seeks to sell her land to a livestock firm that have plans to build a slaughterhouse on their turf. The outcome would result in Wilfred’s acreage becoming effectively useless, forcing him to sell his land and ensure Arlette would get her way in the end.

With no method of reigning Arlette in or dissuading her from her chosen path, Wilfred begins to poison the mind of his son against his mother for his own benefit. He carefully manipulates Henry into seeing things his way and plays on his son’s deepest fears with a great level of success. In particular, Wilfred stresses the very real possibility that Arlette’s decision would split up Henry and his youthful paramour. The neighbouring Shannon Cotterie had stolen the young Henry’s heart and the thought of being separated from her was torment for the boy. With the seeds firmly planted in his son’s mind, Wilfred slowly conspired with Henry and gets him to eventually accept a nefarious plan. The only way to prevent Arlette from destroying their idyllic lives was to remove her from the picture completely. Once Wilfred has convinced Henry that there was no other way to do this, he is eventually talked into the committing the act of matricide. Unfortunately for Wilfred, he discovers that sometimes the dead don’t always stay that way and sometimes they come back for revenge.

As with most of King’s projects, three of the four stories were adapted into films. ‘A Good Marriage’ and ‘Big Driver’ didn’t make much of an impression among audiences with the latter being debuted as a television movie but ‘1922’ made more of an impact when it was released as a Netflix original. The 2017 film was directed by Zak Hilditch and starred Thomas Jane as Wilfred, Molly Parker as Arlette, Dylan Schmid as Henry and Kaitlyn Bernard as Shannon. I found the movie to be quite an effective adaptation that stayed faithful to the written source material that inspired it. While the stories comprising ‘Full Dark, No Stars’ aren’t among Stephen King’s most compelling pieces they are still an entertaining and, at times, a rather grim read. I’d certainly recommend it to anyone who gets a kick out of the celebrated author’s bibliography and is looking to get their fix.

Plot=7/10

Characters=7/10

Wording=8/10

Overall=7/10

Quote of the Day

Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.

Charlie Allnut

The African Queen

Seinfeld

Greetings, ‘Seinfeld’ is an American sitcom that ran from 1989 to 1998 and is the product of a creative collaboration from comedians Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David. The programme went on for 9 seasons, which were comprised of 180 episodes in total, and became an entertainment sensation during its run with its impact still lingering on in pop culture today. The show stars the aforementioned Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander and Michael Richards as its four central leads who are mostly known for their ties to this franchise. Interestingly, the actors’ perceived lack of success in launching other programmes following on from Seinfeld gave rise to the notion of ‘The Seinfeld Curse’ in which the careers of those associate with the series were doomed to stagnate. Other actors involved in ‘Seinfeld’ include Wayne Knight, Barney Martin, Liz Sheridan, Estelle Harris and Jerry Stiller to name a few of the many who came to work on the series. The music was conducted by Jonathan Wolff who often interspersed Jazz and Blues into the sitcom.

The show begins with best friends Jerry Seinfeld, a stand-up comedian, and George Costanza, a real estate broker, in a New York City luncheonette as they discuss mundane topics. That particular morning they are having a much more in depth conversation about the placement of George’s shirt buttons than is warranted, highlighting early on the show’s intention to be humorous about workaday things and the minutia of daily life. The topic then switches over to a woman called Laura who Jerry had met during one of his stand up acts in Michigan. She is coming to visit New York and would like to see Jerry again when she arrives which causes him to wonder if her intentions are romantic in nature. Jerry and George put their heads together and try to analyse Laura’s previous behaviour to determine whether it is a platonic meeting or if something more could be gleamed from it. The following evening Jerry also tries to get a viewpoint on the situation from his eccentric neighbour Kramer whose opinions don’t clarify it much further.

Rather, it seems Kramer is more interested in lounging about in the neighbouring apartment and raiding Jerry’s fridge than of being any potential use. Jerry receives a phone call from Laura. She asks if she can stay at his place over the weekend when she lands in the city to which he, becoming increasingly convinced she is sending signals, agrees. Laura meets Jerry at the airport and he brings her back to his place where she gets herself comfortable by removing her shoes, discards excess clothing and partakes in his offering of wine. While she dims the lights Jerry makes up his mind that she is interested in him and he prepares to make his move. As he does, Laura receives a phone call from an unidentified person that she answers. Laura advises Jerry to never get engaged once the phone call is over and inadvertently solves his dilemma. With no possibility of pursuing romance, an annoyed Jerry realises he is stuck hosting a woman he has no other interest in for the rest of the weekend.

The pilot episode is a bit strange as it includes three of the main characters including Kramer, who became the breakout character thanks to his crazed shenanigans and slapstick routine, but it is missing the fourth member. Julia’s Elaine Benes was not present as the ‘woman character’ in the group as this was originally going to be played by another actress named Lee Garlington who appeared in the pilot as a waitress but was written out of the programme from then on. While I liked the series and can see the mass appeal of it, ‘Seinfeld’ declined in quality in my opinion after Larry David left with the characters steadily becoming caricatures of themselves. The much anticipated finale is also a divisive aspect among fans as while it had good calls backs to previous seasons, which I appreciated, it is effectively a glorified clip show in which the main characters oddly have little to do and are arguably not the main focus of the plot. Nonetheless, I’m glad I gave the series a watch but would certainly note that it wouldn’t be to everyone’s tastes.

Plot=7/10

Characters=8/10

Special Effects=6/10

Overall=7/10

Quote of the Day

I am God of the new world!

Light Yagami / Kira

Death Note

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

Greetings, ‘Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.’ is a 2023 film directed by Kelly Fremon Craig and is based on Judy Blume’s 1970 novel which shares the same name. Fremon Craig has been working in the entertainment industry since the 2000s as a scriptwriter. She had only directed one other movie prior to this latest instalment which was ‘The Edge of Seventeen’, a feature film that came out in 2016. ‘Are you There God?’, being a coming of age story, mainly rests on the shoulders of young actors and actresses who do a terrific job in their roles. The titular Margaret Simon is portrayed by Abby Ryder Fortson who would mostly be known for her work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Cassie Lang, daughter of Ant-Man’s alter ego Scott Lang. Other young stars include Elle Graham, Amari Alexis Price, Katherine Kupferer and Isol Young. Aside from the child actors, it does have a more established cast as well which consists of Rachael McAdams, Kathy Bates and Benny Safdie to name a few. Hollywood stalwart Hans Zimmer, who is partially famed for his collaborations with Christopher Nolan, conducted the score.

The plot begins in 1970 with an 11 year old Margaret who is enjoying her childhood in New York City with her parents, an inter-faith married couple named Barbara and Herb. Her mother is Christian while her father is Jewish and Margaret is currently not prescribing to any particular religion herself. Margaret is very close with her grandmother, called Sylvia, who lives in the city as well but her life takes an unanticipated turn when Herb informs his daughter that he received a promotion that will require the family to move to a New Jersey suburb. Margaret is distraught at the news which will force her to leave her grandmother and school friends behind. It also causes her to fret about having to form another social circle from scratch in her new home. At this point, the uneasy Margaret decides to reach out to God from the sanctuary of her room about her internal emotional struggles and lays all her hopes, concerns and dreams on Him.

Despite all her handwringing, some of Margaret’s concerns dissipate early on into the move when an inquisitive neighbour named Nancy Wheeler introduces herself to the new girl and quickly befriends her. From there, Nancy welcomes Margaret into her friend group which is made up of Janine Loomis and Gretchen Potter and they begin drafting rules for membership into their little club that they all must adhere too. Margaret encounters some more of her future classmates through socializing with this new found friend group. This includes a particular boy called Moose, who is quite plain, that she takes a shine too although the other girls overlook him as they swoon over the popular boy of Philip. As part of a yearlong assignment, Mr Benedict, Margaret’s teacher, encourages her to investigate into her family’s differing faiths once it is revealed that she doesn’t celebrate the holidays for that very reason. Margaret agrees, putting herself on a road to discovering the religious beliefs of both her parents and uncovering some long held divisive intolerances in her extended family.

While I went into this one with no real expectations, I left the theatre a satisfied customer as I had very much enjoyed it despite not being a member of the target audience the movie would primarily be catering for. This, in my mind at least, would mostly be for younger girls entering the realm of womanhood and women who wanted a nostalgic throwback to the heydays of their childhood in the 70s. Most of this appreciation was to do with the likeability of Margaret Simon, who made for an intriguing and in some ways relatable heroine, as well as the humorous script which kept things light when it needed to be. The film was well received by critics but unfortunately bombed at the Box Office in what has been a challenging year for Tinsel Town with significant titles such as ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ flopping. On a side note, the name ‘Nancy Wheeler’ had rung a bell immediately upon hearing it but it appears, after some research, that the monster hunting ‘Strangers Things’ counterpart wasn’t named in homage to this earlier character but the naming was merely the result of coincidence.

Plot=9/10

Characters=9/10

Special Effects=7/10

Overall=9/10

Quote of the Day

I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

A Shot in the Dark

Tear Along the Dotted Line

Greetings, ‘Tear Along the Dotted Line’ is an adult animated Italian show and a Netflix original that was created by Roman cartoonist Michele Rech, better known by his alias Zerocalcare. The unusual pen name means ‘zero lime scale’ in Italian which Michele was apparently inspired to don after listening to an advert jingle for a descaler product and, wanting to join in on an online debate quickly, he put that down as his user name which has stuck with him ever since. The series is comprised of 6 episodes and was released in 2021, many years after Michele became known for his comics such as ‘The Armadillo’s Prophecy’ which was also adapted for the screen into a live action film. Michele voices a fictionalized caricature of himself in the Italian version of the series but as for the English dub, Adam Rhys Dee uses his voice talents to cover most roles in the show. I’ve been most impressed by Adam’s performance as he is able to deliver the comedic lines flawlessly and hit the more emotional moments perfectly when required of him. The music was composed by Italian singer Giancane.

The story follows the day to day routine of Zero, an awkward cartoonist with not much of a social life to brag of. The situation isn’t helped by his own tendency to be a self-imposed hermit and his lethargic refusal to answer phone calls from even the closet of his friends. Nonetheless, he is an artistic soul that is fuelled by a vivid if neurotic imagination. For instance, he has conjured up in his mind an armadillo which serves as a personification of his own conscience and he is often humorously talked down to or scolded by this imaginary mammal. When not interacting with fictitious beings or locking himself in his apartment, Zero is hanging out with his friends Sarah and Secco. The former is an aspiring teacher while the latter is a gambling addict with no job to speak of and an unhealthy obsession with ice cream. Zero and his friends are meeting up to travel to Biella in the north of Italy for reasons that aren’t revealed to the viewer.

All the audience are aware of is Zero’s fanatical insistence in being punctual so the trio can get to Biella in good time. Naturally they encounter setbacks such as Zero’s car breaking down which he feels woefully unequipped to fix himself despite being an adult man. There is, however, a lingering and unspoken sense of subtle unease as they get closer to their destination. During the course of the day, Zero reminisces about his childhood years and young adulthood in which he has some fond memories to think back on but a reasonable amount of personal failings too that he dwells on. One of the most prominent regrets he admits to himself during his narration is that he never asked out Alice, a friend he always had a crush on. Despite the undeniable chemistry between them the two simply never evolved successfully into a relationship and the pieces slowly begin to fall into place for the audience as the non-linear narrative weaves together a tragic story.

I really enjoyed this unusual series and found myself hooked very early on by the first few minutes in the opening episode. It is full of nerdy pop culture references and the self-depreciating Zero’s humour is quite sharp, releasing a rapid barrage of jokes that can easily fly under the radar. Like Bojack, one of my other favourite shows, it does feature anthropomorphised animals and humans living together but it isn’t really clear whether this is part of Zero’s imagination or not. Asides from that similarity, they are both also brilliant in blending emotional scenes and effective humour together without any awkward shifts between the two. I also appreciate the way it was narrated with flashbacks giving an idea of who these characters are and it does a great job of building up a sense of mystery about their journey. ‘Tear Along the Dotted Line’ is certainly a show I’d recommend and there is also a much more politically inspired follow up series that I am currently watching, entitled ‘This World Can’t Tear Me Down’, that seems to so far to be of the same high standard as the first season.

Plot=10/10

Characters=10/10

Special Effects=10/10

Overall=10/10

Quote of the Day

Nice beaver.

Frank Drebin

The Naked Gun

1408

Greetings, ‘1408’ is a 2007 film directed by Mikael Håfstrsöm and based on the works of prolific horror author Stephen King. While King has many world renowned projects to his name, the same cannot be said for its Swedish director who has few titles that would be known to an audience outside of his native Sweden. Some of the more internationally appealing movies in his filmography include ‘Derailed’ starring Jennifer Anniston and ‘The Rite’ in which Anthony Hopkins was involved but these appear to have fared poorly with audiences. ‘1408’ features notable actors and actresses including John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Mary McCormack and Tony Shalhoub among its cast. The music was composed by Gabriel Yared who had also contributed to well-known films such as ‘The English Patient’, ‘The Talented Mr Ripley’ and ‘Amelia’.

The plot follows Mike Enslin, a cynical and jaded author, as he travels across America in search of haunted locations with the intention of debunking their supernatural reputations. After spending the night in one such inn, Mike leaves without experiencing any strange phenomenon and becomes increasingly self-assured that the claims are only made by the owners to draw in visitors. Shortly after his underwhelming stay, he is in California on a book tour to promote his new book. The novel details supposed hauntings but Mike appears to be motivated more by financial need rather than being inspired to write it by his own genuine passion. The trip isn’t all business as he decides to surf the Californian waves but he nearly drowns after encountering a large tidal wave and has to be saved by onlookers. Not being put off by a near death experience, Mike is back to work not long after he is discharged from hospital and his interest is piqued after he receives an anonymous postcard. The postcard is of ‘The Dolphin Hotel’ in New York City and the mysterious note advises him to simply not enter room 1408.

Mike does not heed the warning and has taken it as a challenge instead. As such, he flies out to New York and after trying to book in with reception Mike meets with the hotel manager, Gerald Olin, when it is clear he intends to stay in the cursed room. Gerald tries numerous times to dissuade Mike by informing him of the room’s grotesque history of mutilations, murders and suicides as well as promising him a place in the pent suite instead as well as an $800 bottle of cognac should he abandon his foolish endeavour. Mike, believing it is all a bogus scare tactic to drum up a tense atmosphere, eventually gets his way through threat of legal action and enters the sinister room. Upon entering the room, it appears to be a very mundane location and there are a few incidents early on that he brushes off as being orchestrated by Gerald including a radio that refuses to stay turned off. It isn’t long before Mike begins to experience things that defy explanation and his theory of it all being his overactive imagination spurred on by Gerald’s storytelling is put to the test.

Comparisons to ‘The Shining’ are undoubtedly going to be made considering they share the same subject matter and are written by the same author. Unsurprisingly, the film is certainly not on the same level as Kubrick’s 1980 adaptation in my opinion although it does have its own charms. I really liked the set up in ‘1408’, especially around Mike’s background in debunking the paranormal, and there is an impressive tension when Mike finally enters the evil room thanks to Gerald’s gruesome warnings. Once he is inside the room however, it loses its sinister edge somewhat as the audience is no longer relying on their imagination to visualize the horrors that unfolded in it but are watching CGI ghosts torment the protagonist. Despite all of this, I still enjoyed the movie and would definitely like to check out the story that it is based on.

Plot=7/10

Characters=7/10

Special Effects=6/10

Overall=7/10

Quote of the Day

Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's really sensitive.

Arnie Cunningham

Christine

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Greetings, ‘The Legend of Sleepy Hollow’ is a short story from 1820 by essayist, historian and author Washington Irving and is regarded as being one of the first examples of fiction created in the United States. Lauded as one of America’s greatest writers, Irving wrote ‘Sleepy Hollow’ as merely one entry in a collection of stories and essays entitled ‘The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent.’ Among this set of works is ‘Rip Van Winkle’, another famous tale in which a Dutch-American villager falls into a deep slumber for 20 years and wakes up to discover that he slept through the American Revolutionary War. While I did read all stories in the book, ‘Sleepy Hollow’ is by far the most memorable addition in my opinion and the others are very much products of their time with subject matters that would be considered quaint by a modern audience.

The plot takes place in 1790 in the aforementioned Sleepy Hollow. It is a Dutch settlement in the vicinity of Tarrytown, New York. The protagonist is one Ichabod Crane who is a schoolmaster from Connecticut and is noted as being superstitious in mind and spindly in physicality. While staying in the supposedly mystical area as required by his work as a teacher, Ichabod is enthralled by the local’s tales of supernatural occurrences in the small settlement which includes a reputedly haunted tree that was used in the execution of a British spy. No figure captures Crane’s imagination quite like that of the Headless Horseman or, as he is sometimes alliteratively described by the populace, the ‘Galloping Hessian of the Hollow’. The folktale goes that the Horseman was a Hessian, a German soldier, who fought alongside the British forces as they attempted to crush the insurrection that was raging in the 13 colonies. During a nameless battle, the Hessian mercenary is killed by cannon fire as a cannonball separates his head from his body.

The story goes that the restless spirit can be heard riding down the forests at night as he looks for his missing head and it is warned that should anybody be so unfortunate as to cross the Horseman’s path then they shall soon loose theirs too. Ichabod is much unnerved by talk of the spectral horseman but continues to reside in the Hollow regardless, being enamoured by the local women who are drawn to his academic intelligence and gentle nature. Crane’s popularity with the fairer sex becomes an issue when a young woman, named Katrina Tassel, catches his eye. Katrina is the daughter of the richest man in the Hollow and Ichabod begins to daydream of living a life of luxury should he inherit the property and farmlands. This doesn’t go down well with one of the residents, a man nicknamed ‘Brom Bones’ as he as the same intention of asking for Katrina’s hand. As such, Brom starts to conspire against the interfering interloper Ichabod.

I’ve always had an interest in the monsters of old fiction and ‘The Legend of Sleepy Hollow’ had been on my reading list for quite some time. I was intrigued by the time period in which it is set and the notion of a vengeful headless horseman certainly caught my attention when I was first introduced to a version of the character in Tim Burton’s 1999 film adaptation. The very simple plot has been paid homage to numerous times throughout the decades such as the child friendly version produced by Disney back in the 40s or the gothic and wildly unfaith adaptation made by Burton. If you are wanting to dig into the annals of history, this short work is worth a read and while there isn’t a lot the happens in the story I can see why it has endured long after the world it was created in has vanished into memory.

Plot=6/10

Characters=7/10

Wording=7/10

Overall=6/10

Quote of the Day Two years ago, a man came into my office. He said his name was Mayhew. He wanted one of my clients to lie for him under oath. He offered me money, I refused. That night, as I was leaving my office, I was attacked. A bag was shoved over my head, I was hog-tied, I was driven out of the desert. And when they pulled the hood off, I was kneeling in front of an open grave with a gun pointed at my head! That was my introduction to Walter White! I was terrified! But not for long. That night I saw an opportunity—a shot at big money—and I grabbed it, and I held it tight. And for the next sixteen months... my every waking moment was spent building Walter White's drug empire.

Jimmy McGill / Saul Goodman

Better Call Saul